Saturday, December 1, 2012

Chances

Hey guys, thanks for visiting and reading my blog and I hope you had a chance to read what this is all about (if you haven't, you should!) Since this is the very first blog, let me introduce myself.

Well... My name is ("on the paper") Feng Hsuan Chen, aka 陳鳳軒 for those of you who can read Chinese, but I go by Billy. I was born and raised in Ping Tung, Taiwan and moved to San Antonio, TX when i was 14. I currently go to Texas A&M University and on my second to last semester of undergraduate with the pursuit in a degree of Forensic Science. I have been a Christian and a lot of my beliefs come from that aspect of my life. I enjoy sports, music, and currently developing a hobby of collecting insects. 

 Alright, now that I've gotten the intro out of the way... the blog itself:

Never in my life have I thought that I would have a chance of coming so close to obtaining college degree in a foreign country and looking to possibly expanding my education with a master's degree. But then again never have I thought that I would one day remember to get my parents to sign my planner the night before school. You see, when I was young, I was one of the problematic student that my teacher describe me as "energetic and special". I had grades as low as 30 on a math test. I had no direction in life and all I wanted was to be like the most popular kid in class, even if that means I'll have to act like someone I'm not. All of that changed when I moved here. I was given a new chance to start over at some place where nobody knows who I am (heck, nobody even speaks my language). This is when I noticed I began to change. I wanted to be more, I wanted to put myself out there, I wanted to be different in a good way. 

The more I think about it, the more i am thankful for this chance. My question is though, what triggered this change of attitude? Because I know people who also have been given the same opportunity, but choose to do the exact same things. I guess this is parallel to the question that we've all encountered in life at some point: "If you have the chance to do it over, would you do the same thing?" 

I believe us humans learn from our mistakes and that's how we improve, so it's important for us to trip and fall every once in a while to understand where we are and better ourselves. Though I mentioned earlier that I "went the different direction this time", I continue to make mistake in other areas. For example, I wasted almost three years of my life in college investing on something that never paid off all because I couldn't let go. It hurt me and took all of my attention away from things that matters. Right now I stand alone and face the consequences from that decision. This will forever haunt me, but I learned my lesson. I can say that next time I'll do things differently, but there won't be a next time. Maybe that's what matters, it's whether or not you understand what you did wrong, not trying to be perfect. Maybe that's why the bible stresses that we are all sinners and we all make mistakes but we are already forgiven for what we will do wrong in the future. At the end, I can't help but to want a do-over for my mistakes, but I know that is both impossible and pointless.

I do apologize for the negative connotation this entry gives off, but that just so happen to be on my mind so I just wanted to write it. Next time will be a totally different thing. nevertheless thanks again for reading and please leave any criticism and comment, after all, there is a reason this blog is set to public viewing. 




1 comment:

  1. This is really deep, Billy. Writing can be such a powerful catharsis. Looking forward to reading more!

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